Here we are in February and it’s time for part 2 of our 12-month series on the fruits of the Holy Spirit and this month we will dive into Love. The ancient Greeks identify 4 types of love:
1. Eros/Romantic
2. Storge/Familial
3. Philia/Friendship
4. Agape/Charity.
Here we will focus on agape/charity because this form of love is really what God speaks about in the bible, in phrases such as “love God above all else and your neighbor as yourself” or “love is patient, love is kind”.
The first 3 come naturally and are necessary for the self-giving love of charity to blossom but we cannot produce true charity without the strength of the Holy Spirit. This kind of love is not a feeling, but a choice. It is the choice to be kind, to sacrifice, and to consider another’s needs greater than our own (Philippians 2:3). The growth of charity leads to self-surrender to God and a compassionate love for the other. Charity, as one of the fruits of the Holy Spirit, is the highest form of love and one of the three Theological virtues. It is a Holy Love for God and neighbor that has no desire for a reward. It is a participation in God’s unconditional love and, it is, as St. Thomas Aquinas defines, to will the good of another. Charity is the love God has toward us, His creation and the love that we are called to accept and develop within us.
So, how can we cooperate with the Holy Spirit to cultivate this selfless love? According to an article called “The Secret of True Love” by Father John A. Hardon, we begin by identifying the secret of true love (Charity) which can be summed up as this:
1. to give rather than receive
2. to give in deeds and not only affections or words
3. to give yourself and not only things.
It seems simple but it can be challenging when faced with the reality that love is not about satisfying yourself and, in many cases, means having to do what you don’t really want to do, like giving your friend money to pay her phone bill when you’d rather buy a new sweater, or visiting your sick mother who is grumpy and demanding rather than staying home to watch a movie or going to buy a burger for a homeless person rather than walk by and ignore him. The measure of our love is our willingness to give and that is what we are to focus on, giving, even at a cost to ourselves. This is the way of the cross. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lays down his life for his friends” (John 15 :13). If we give expecting to receive, or in order to receive, we do not love. Generosity is the standard and divinely established condition of love.
"For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another” (1John 3:11).
“Love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back” (Luke 6:35).
There are many ways to give your love and it depends on the nature of your relationship with the other person but general acts of kindness go a long way in almost any situation. You can help by caring for a pet, doing the dishes, mailing a “thinking of you” card, giving a hug or just listening to them in their time of need. The Church also gives and requires us to perform both the spiritual and corporal works of mercy. Mercy is a fruit of charity, but I won’t go into that right now. Here is the list for you. They are great ways to act in love and give of yourself.
The Corporal Works of Mercy are:
- To feed the hungry.
- To give drink to the thirsty.
- To clothe the naked.
- To harbor the homeless.
- To visit the sick.
- To ransom the captive.
- To bury the dead.
The Spiritual Works of Mercy are:
- To instruct the ignorant.
- To counsel the doubtful.
- To admonish sinners.
- To bear wrongs patiently.
- To forgive offences willingly.
- To comfort the afflicted.
- To pray for the living and the dead.
If you want to grow in Charity, simply give and strive each day to give your time, talent, and resources to help another. Whoever is in your life is who God wants you to help so start there and ask Him to help you and give you what you need in order to fulfil His will. The act of giving of yourself is ultimately surrendering your will to that of the will of God and needs to be discerned in each present moment. Giving up your own will is probably the hardest thing to do, at least for me it is. Even St. Therese’ struggled with this. “Oh, what a soul has to suffer when she realizes she is no longer mistress over herself.”
If you are not already on our email list, just scroll down to the bottom and sign up. We will send you a monthly newsletter to support and encourage Catholic living in the modern world, and special discounts on our products throughout the year.