Self-Control, also known as temperance and contingency, is the fruit of the spirit in which one has mastered their desires and love for pleasure. It brings one's passions under control instead of being controlled by them. It makes one master themselves so that they are fit to serve others. It is not about being rigid and living a life according to rules and regulations but has more to do with allowing the Holy Spirit to produce within us the strength to resist temptations and selfish pursuits, even when all restraints have been removed. It gives us the ability to control thoughts, words and actions, to say no to indulgence and foolish desires. It grants us the liberty to love and live as God intended.
Self-control is a fruit and not a gift of the Holy Spirit, so we must cooperate with Him so that we can produce this fruit. Gifts (seeds) are given, fruit is grown. We were given the gifts at our confirmation. They are planted in our souls, so we must trust that as we set out to grow our fruit. Our job is to water and weed. We water our seeds though reading and contemplating the Word of God, giving praise and thanksgiving, acts of service and charity and participating in your Catholic parish or community (prayer groups, classes, retreats, etc..). And when the weeds of sin, sinful desires and self-will sprout we pull them out through fasting and a disciplined prayer life. Fasting is especially helpful to develop self-control because when we fast and deny the desires of the body for a short time, we train our will, and the soul learns to be deprived of its authority. This is what Jesus taught us when he fasted for 40 days and overcame His temptations in the desert. We must also keep in mind that as we cooperate with the Spirit to bear good fruit that this pleases God even if we fail and that He will send us tests and temptations to reveal our hearts, to humble us, and to do good to us in the end (read Deuteronomy 8:1-20). Even Jesus himself was purposely led by the Spirit into the desert to tempted, so expect a battle. If we fail, we need not despair if our hearts are sincere. We simply need to turn to the Lord for His mercy and strength for
“His power is made perfect in our weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)
If you have never fasted, start slowly, a fast doesn’t need to be grand like 40 days in the desert. First you want to identify and set the intention for your fast. What areas of self-control do struggle with, eating, drinking, gossiping, spending money frivolously, etc...? If it’s more than one thing just choose one and work on that first. Also speak with your spiritual director or confessor and ask for suggestions. A good place to start is abstaining from meat on Fridays all year round. You can also decide to eat only one meal at dinner and just drink water all day or you can fast on bread and water for the whole day. Just do a little research, talk it out with someone you trust and decide on a plan and stick to it.
As Catholics we have two natures, our sinful nature and because of Jesus’ sacrifice we have God’s divine nature, and they are at war with each other but fear not because the Holy Spirit has been sent to help us and if we “Live by the Spirit” we will be successful and able to maintain self-control in the face of trials and temptations.
If you are not already on our email list, just scroll down to the bottom and sign up. We will send you a monthly newsletter to support and encourage Catholic living in the modern world, and special discounts on our products throughout the year.